Results tagged “residentevil”

In a shocking upset, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married easily topped the box-office with a much higher than expected $21.5 million haul. Ordinarily, I'm on the side of the underdog, but Perry's movies are so aggresively mediocre that I'm not looking forward to the glut of his product that is now certain to follow. Then again, Why Did I Get Married is hardly worse than The Game Plan which finished second in...

Despite early expectations that it would top $20 million in its opening weekend, when I was twelve!

In yet another blow to the human race, Dwayne Johnson's The Game Plan was this weekend's box-office champ, taking in a richly undeserved 22.6 million dollars in its debut. You know what that means--an even worse sequel (assuming that's possible) is virtually certain to be made. Let's hope it goes straight to DVD and doesn't rob theater space from better, less life-affirming movies. In second place, also in its first weekend, was Peter Berg's...

To no one’s surprise, the awful ($14M). While discerning patriots were sad to see Paul W.S. Anderson’s “vision” further validated, they were somewhat cheered by the continued deterioration of "comedian" Dane Cook’s film career. Also, failed starlet Jessica Alba is one flop closer to what now seems an inevitable, tasteful appearance in Playboy.

The fall tradition of releasing prestige films continues tomorrow as Resident Evil: Extinction opens wide. Milla Jovovich stars as the beneficent Alice, a latter-day Tess of the d'Urbervilles who is charged with the stygian task of killing armies of the undead--and the joke is now over. Anyone dumb enough to see the latest chapter of this awful series probably didn't notice anyway. At least there's nudity. But not from Ali Larter. Dang! Into the...