Results tagged “penis”

When it comes to making a man's member larger, there are pharmaceuticals, herbal supplements, and pumps that have this very unique market cornered. But rather than employ one of these methods, an Orange County man decided to go with a more homespun do-it-yourself method, with near-disastrous results.

LA Angels defeat Seattle Mariners 7-4. The Angels looked like they would suffer a letdown after their weekend sweep over the Yankees by falling behind the Mariners 3-0. But aided with a Juan Rivera solo shot and Vladamir Guerrero two-run shot in the fifth inning, the Angels came back to show who's king of the AL West. They got three insurance runs in the eighth inning and just continue to steam through any and all comers who stand in their way. Just to show how dominant the Angels are, at the All Star Break they had a six game lead in the division. As of this victory the Angels have a 15 game lead, and at 75-43 have the best record in baseball. In related news, the Angels flagship station AM 830 KLAA (which is owned by the Angels) will be a radio affiliate for Notre Dame Fighting Irish football.

In a story today about the possible departure of the John Wayne statue from the front of Flynt Publications –- it may go to Newport Beach, the Glendale-raised Duke's longtime home -– LAT's Bob Pool gets this euphemized gem from porn magnate Larry Flynt:

From his publishing headquarters above the statue, Flynt said he wouldn't miss the Duke and his horse if they headed south.

Continue reading "Beverly Hills May Get Giant Penis Statue"

Ten surprisingly lovely days with a 19-Year-Old Swedish Sex Kitten who turned out to have quite more than Nordic good looks.

• A body was found yesterday afternoon in the Angeles National Forest, off Highway 2 near Big Pines. The identity of the person has not been revealed.
• Now you can get all the penis-biting snake action you want on the web: the next "Jackass" sequel is set to premiere on the web through Blockbuster's new online movie service.
• In New Jersey, the state assembly has voted to outlaw the death penalty, "poising the state to become the first since 1965 to eliminate capital punishment.The state Senate earlier this week also voted to end executions and replace them with sentences of life in prison without the possibility of parole."
• Do not mix illegal camping with alcohol and fires! Arrests are being made in the Malibu Corral Canyon arsons: "the suspects were having an illegal late-night campfire near a cave when the blaze broke out. Investigators found evidence such as alcohol containers, food wrappers and bundled fire logs."
• The contest for Rufus Wainwright and Belinda Carlisle on New Years Eve ends tonight! Enter to win! Enter to win!
• LA Weekly reports on gang activity in LA and elsewhere -- it's bad and getting worse.
• So the Golden Globe noms were announced...but if the writer strikes are still going, who's gonna show up for the ceremony? Wow I actually might watch this year. Is that wrong?
• ESPN is on top of fallout from the this morning's report on steroid use in the big leagues: "Baseball slow to react."

It's Sex Saturday! That means April Smear is going to post a rant or question about all things sex. Let’s create a dialogue and attempt to understand the sexual underbelly of Los Angeles!

One of the nice little bonus touches that some films include are outtakes as the credits roll, or fancy graphics, or a special scene telling everyone to leave the theater (a la "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"), but "Superbad" has taken it a step further. The surprise summer hit comedy apparently displays a montage of drawings featuring penises during its end credits, a trend that some other films are being noted for. The trend being...

Certain things are just undebatable. Pete Rose was the greatest hitter in baseball, Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all, LAist is the greatest blog about LA, and GG Allin was the most punk rock punk rocker who ever took the stage. He cut himself with beer cans, he shat on the stage and rubbed it on himself, he accepted gay oral favors as he sang, and he kicked fans in the...

It's Sex Saturday! That means April Smear is going to post a rant or question about all things sex. Let’s create a dialogue and attempt to understand the sexual underbelly of Los Angeles! A couple years ago, I met this really, really hot guy. He looked exactly like Brandon Walsh from 90210 and exuded so much confidence that I would do anything he wanted. One night, we ended up kissing and he asked me...

While SFist cringed at the fatal dose of crime littering the Bay Area, it found solace in Hillary Clinton's San Francisco campaign headquarters opening, which featured loads of exposed mammary glands. In other news, SF Taxi Commission ruled that Satan's cab must keep its (in)famous medallion number, 666; and in an un-fashion-forward frenzy, San Francisco Fashion Week (chortle) bars bloggers from covering and getting smashed at their shows and parties, respectively. Also, they found a picture displaying the woes of cruising in a tacky limo on the streets of San Francisco.

Shredding ensued at last night’s LA regional competition of the US Air Guitar Championships at the Key Club in West Hollywood. 16 air shredders competed to represent L.A. in the US Championships in NYC on August 16, and a possible chance to represent the US at the world championships in Finland.

Albert Hammond Jr., guitarist for The Strokes and now solo artist, released his first solo album, Yours To Keep in March to rave reviews. LAist caught up with him and got the skinny on his girlfriend's breathing, his dad's penis and his love for bagels and lox....

Back in the heyday of CalArts, there are true stories of graduation ceremonies where the president of the institute would make his entrance by helicopter or where Lilian Disney (Walt's Sister) was writing a very large check to the school on stage only for a large inflated penis to be thrown from the roof of the building onto her. Once, when a students name was read, he repelled from the roof to the stage....

The 2007 Silverlake Film Festival heads into its second and final week. Highlights include…

Ever take dirty Polaroids of your wife? Maybe wrote a pornographic love note to your boyfriend? Doodle a penis bouquet on a cocktail napkin? Ever wanted to get your hands on any of the above and enjoy a voyeuristic snapshot into somebody else’s sex life? If your answer to any of these questions was yes, you might be interested in checking out the DIRTY FOUND Outreach Program. Taking place this Friday, April 27th at the...

The following is written by my roommate who would like to stay anonymous for obvious reasons. Our friends always say that our "girl talks" should be in LAist or somewhere, so my roommate took me up on the dare to explain how she returned from Big Bear after a weekend with a Little Johnson and a huge smile. Ladies: have you ever been so excited about finally hooking up with your dude, that you’re...

Sex is something that drives us, empowers us and gets us into really stupid situations with people we have no business seeing naked. Jen Sincero is the bestselling author and sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your questions (all are posted anonymously). Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed. Dear Jen, Could you explain what a light hug means? There's this woman that I've been making friends...

Everyone who knows me knows about my undying love of all things Sarah Silverman. I adore her edgy fearlessness and her complete inappropriateness. But…there may be a new idol on my block, named Chelsea Handler -- a comedienne, actress, and now writer. Her new book, My Horizontal Life: A collection of One Night Stands, is out. And it’s amazing.

This is LAist’s mutherfuckin’ Snakes on a Plane review. This should have happened months ago, but like every other person we neglected to cough up the bucks at the box office and opted instead to wait for its DVD release. To make the case for SOAP, it doesn’t live up to the internet hype but it does however manage to pull off death by snakebite to the penis quite gracefully. The sickeningly twisted snake...

I have decided to take a new approach to writing film reviews in 2007. No more feeling obligated to see and write about Important Hollywood Crap. C'mon, are there actually any LAist readers who care about that shit? I figure if people want to read that stuff they can open the LA Times or the Weekly and read film reviews by someone who probably cares about things like oeuvres and mise en scène and didn't...

Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. Sign up for her newsletter and have it sent to you every week. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.

We're thankful for so many things. Really. The only thing we had cause for regret rather than thanks this weekend was the fact that we missed seeing Alice Cooper run into our neighborhood grocery store for some spare cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving Day. Man, that would have been so cool.

Jagshemash!

Leona Lewis, a contestant on a Simon Cowell + Sharon Osbourne judged American Idol type program, who turns Cowell on so much he made out with Sharon and then dissed Kelly Clarkson, Fantasia, and Carrie Underwood: Across this show, across Idol, across all the other shows. Let's be honest: all the girl singers haven't been very good, until now! You are absolutely the best contestant I have ever had across any of these shows....

- E! lays off 1/3rd of its True Hollywood Story staff. Will now only produce a new episode every other week. - Variety

If Vegas is LA’s backyard, then Prince has officially moved into our sandbox. We should all go there and make sure he’s ok in the desert. You know they say it’s a dry heat. But I digress. Prince! Wearer of lace pants. Prince! A man so cool he sometimes doesn’t need a name. Prince! Music maker, ass shaker, house decorator. Prince! Is opening a club at the Rio. AP Photo...

A shirtless man walked toward them along a mud pathway. His muscles were young and hard, but his face was devastated with wrinkles. His eyes were so red that they appeared to be burned by fire. A naked boy ran happily toward him from a little plot of dirt. The man grabbed his young son in his arms, turned him upside down, and put the boy’s penis in his mouth.

"I don't care if Mark Foley had been asking boys to describe their penises because I have some sad news for you: Your kid is so larded out on Cheetos and Yoo-hoo, he can't even see his penis." - Bill Maher, today on Salon.com "You're wankers, but really important wankers. Even you, Robert Joseph at Earthlink, who has sent me consistent hatemail for two years straight. You, sir, have been impressive." - Jessica Coen...

The Oklahoma federal judge who was accused of multitasking with a penis pump while conducting court was found guilty and will be sentenced in a few weeks.

Thomas served more than 20 years on the bench in eastern Oklahoma before his retirement in 2004. The conviction will require Thompson to register as a sex offender, and could jeopardize his $7,489.91-a-month pension from the state.

There's a sex-scandal case going on in Oklahoma which makes LA look tame. A Federal judge allegedly used a penis pump on himself while on the bench during a trial. And yes, that's illegal, and best of all, funny.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

Continue reading "Here Comes the Judge"