My whole life I have dreamed of a world where we did not need to wear pants. I find them to be uncomfortable and entirely unnecessary and I'd always hoped that we would reach a point when society stood up and said, "screw you, pants!" As I found, ladies and gentlemen, that day is today.......

I can't believe I called in sick to work to watch this utterly terrible Dodger game. The Blue Crew lost 12 to 1 to the Mets at their monthly mid-week day game today. Maine was pitching a complete game shutout into the 9th until the Dodgers managed to squeak out one run to wipe that big fat 0 off the scoreboard. Not much to say about this one. It sucked balls. A bunch of......

South opened its doors a few weeks ago and already business is booming. I arrived for happy hour at 5pm, quite relieved to see how well they'd filled in the space previously occupied by that hideous dim sum restaurant which was a disgrace to all things Chinese. South looks amazing, with nice clear TVs on every wall, wide open spaces, comfortable seating, and tons of windows. I was rather impressed. South was opened by......

This is going to be brief. I am lucky to be alive after 3 hours in scorching 90+ degree heat, and my very last ounce of energy will be used to get these photos up before I pass out. Literally. The Dodgers started Loaiza, which is usually a death sentence but today he only gave up two earned runs! This is a huge improvement! The Rockies started Jeff Francis (0-2), who didn't throw nearly......

Tonight's Dodger game was amazing in so many ways. The emotions ran high, ranging from the elation of witnessing Matt Kemp's grand slam to top off a 10 run first inning, the fear and helplessness of watching umpire Kerwin Danley get hit in the head by one of Penny's pitches, and then the absolute anger and frustration that I personally experienced sitting in front of the most annoying fucktard ever. Sometime around the 5th......

Andre Ethier gets hit by a pitch. There are very few days in my life when I actually wish I were rich, but today happened to be one of those days. My sister scored us field level seats behind home plate, which are a world of difference from our season seats in reserve level. As luck would have it, every time someone gives me amazing seats, the Dodgers lose. Every single time I've sat......

I innocently went to Third Street Promenade on Saturday to go shopping to put together a new "I'm single and available" look as the current one isn't working, and happened upon some sort of pre-Earth Day, super green I heart the environment festival. Fortunately Earth Day brings out the best of Santa Monica, and my camera and I happened to be there. I can't appropriately put words to this, so just click the photos.......

Don't call this a concert review because I am utterly and completely biased. I love Ani Difranco. I've loved her from the day I first laid eyes on her over 13 years ago and I hope to love her forever until the day I die. Last night's show at the Orpheum Theater was the thirteenth time I've seen her live, and now I love her even more. It was a relief to see Ani......

Tonight's game was a hell of a lot of fun, even though it was cold and windy and we were getting dive-bombed by hummingbird-sized moths. Both pitchers (Lowe and Cain) pitched five shutout innings before giving up a few runs. Lowe took a comebacker to the lower leg to make way for Joe Beimel to come in and allow two runners to score. Troncoso make his ML debut with the bases loaded and one......

Spring is here in Los Angeles! To celebrate, I give you a series of Haikus. boobies are in bloom jiggling in the fresh spring air welcome to LA More poetry after the jump.......

I've been checking out college hoops at various bars, like The Parlor and Q's and Barney's Santa Monica, so I felt it only appropriate that I hit up another Santa Monica sports bar: Busby's. I went Saturday around 4pm to ensure I would get a great seat for the UCLA game at 6:30. Um, Busby's was about as exciting as watching the game in my living room. Okay, the food was better than my......

As some of you may well know, I am embarking on Malingering's Marvelous March Madness Sports Bar tour, so I thought I'd hit up one of the usual spots: Barney's Beanery in Santa Monica. Barney's has a few things going for it: 1) The mini chocolate bundt cakes with ice cream and chocolate syrup which are oh-so-delicious 2) Booths which allow you to hide out, have 3 TVs all to yourself, and complete control......

UCLA was almost overtaken by the Oregon Ducks today, but managed to rally back in the second half to win. I am no sports writer, and I'm not going to pretend to be, so this is how it went in my world. UCLA turned the ball over what seemed to be about 9 billion times (actually 12) and were playing like molasses in the first half. They let the shot clock run down to......

Los Angeles has always been populated by the dramatic and the attention-seeking. It's part of our culture, and that's why we don't seem to affected by those who wear their hearts on their sleeves. But what about the latest group of people, those who wear their thoughts on their ass? Take, for example, the woman above who wears a large "24/7" printed directly over her butthole. What exactly does this mean? My ass is......

In the so-called Flickrverse, inadvertently putting one naughty-esque photo in a comment thread will get you flagged and censored, maybe even having all your comments from the past, 10,000 in all, deleted. It wasn't too long ago that Flickr implemented its own questionable censorship system (which resulted them in restricting all of my photos and then apologizing about it later with a whoops, our bad) and became perhaps a bit heavy handed with their......

LAist is doing lots of writing about the top ten albums of 2007 or the top books of 2007 or even new year's resolutions. Unfortunately I am much more lame than all of them and not only can I not come up with my top ten recommendations for anything, I can't even come up with ten things that I like. Instead I will write up my wish list: the top 10 things I hope......

I was born and raised in LA. My first experience with public transportation was at age 6 when my mom said we could ride the bus to the mall. We waited at the bus stop for 30 minutes but the bus never came. So we walked home. That pretty much sums up how I feel about the bus right now. For 5 years (during and after college) I lived on the East Coast; I......

I went to my 15th Tori Amos concert last night. I still remember the high school days of camping outside of Tower records at 7am on a Saturday morning to get tickets to the her shows, or that time I drove 3 hours in the snow to see her play in Boston on my 21st birthday. And then there was the time we got up at 6am to see her do a show in......

I went to my introductory session with Andy Petranek one morning while taking a "sick day" at work. I had been searching for a gym that taught Crossfit, a special brand of fitness recommended to me by a friend. I e-mailed Andy to ask about the class schedule, and next thing I knew I was in my workout clothes and standing in the alley between 14th and 15th Streets in Santa Monica wondering what......

LAist was comped front row seats by the Dodgers due to Malingering being struck by a foul ball last week, and she came back with some great photos, and earlier made fun of 4th of July on Venice Beach. But the biggest stories of the week was that the Mayor's Hot Tamale was revealed, and that a Kwik-E-Mart was erected in Burbank. Phillyist was busy doing the Fourth of July up right, exercising their......

This may be the first time anyone has ever heard me say this, but last night the Dodgers lost and I still feel like a winner. My sheer joy was a gift from a generous benefactor who will be referred to as JC, not only because those are his initials but also because he is now holier than Christ himself. JC hooked us up with seats in the Dugout Club, which is where I......

I ended up at another bodybuilding competition. Or more correctly, once again I found myself at Venice Beach while a bodybuilding and figure competition was going on. I really should just get on their mailing list so I don't get caught off guard. Plus I keep missing the 'roided up women's bodybuilding competition, since this usually is first. The flip side to coming late is that sometimes the women are in the stands watching......

Tuesday, July 3rd the Dodgers celebrated a cumulative total attendance of 175,000,000 which is the highest of any sports franchise anywhere. To thank the fans in attendance, they gave all of us a free ticket to a game in the Phillies series (July 16-18), and then (augh) they started hurling autographed baseballs (175 of them) into the stands. Now as badly as I wanted one of these balls (I have yet to catch a......

Good news, everyone! The terrorists have not won. And in America, we have the freedom of expression, which people today use in various ways. Though the sun never came out, the section of America we call Venice Beach had a happy happy birthday. Here we will take a look at the people of Venice Beach and how they showed their patriotism on the 4th of July (beyond the $5 Old Navy flag t-shirt). Keep......

It's bad enough that I got hit by a line drive on Friday and have a nasty contusion on my hand. But then I sit through 12 innings only to watch Tomko lose the game. Tomko who is 1-6. Tomko who can turn a 6 run lead into a save opportunity (see Thursday's game). Last night hurt. It really did.......

Because LAist loves you and loves the Dodgers, we thought it would be nice to give you some road trip action. Hooray for you. Okay, really I just had to escape LA for a while for fear of vengance from the Victoria's Secret Pink Army and thought Phoenix would be safe. I can blend in with all of the other out-of-town Dodger fans and no one will suspect a thing. Before I go into......

Namely, how did Victoria manage to brainwash 80% of the adolescents in LA into thinking that this is cool? The Pink line came out in 2004 and was geared toward college co-eds who like to flounce around the dorms in their pajamas. This would explain this idiotic "PHI BETA PINK" and "Pink University" crap. When I see this, my head nearly explodes with a deluge of unanswered questions. For example: Who buys this stuff? Some......

I'm a Dodger die-hard. It's in my blood. So I can't like the Angels. But do you know who I hate even more? That jackass who was sitting behind me at the game today. He and his Angel ass-kissing buddy did not stop speaking throughout the entire game. They seriously thought they were placed on this earth to be the walking and talking media guides and for three and a half hours they didn't......

Since it appears that some of my prior posts have infuriated readers enough to call me something along the lines of "a poison to society," I have come to realize that I must be extremely influential and powerful in my role of (as one person called me), "Queen of the Retards." Otherwise, people wouldn't be so upset, would they? They would shake their heads and say "moron" and click on one of the other,......

Saturday night was the 49th Annual Hollywood Stars game at Dodger Stadium. This has been a long-standing tradition at Dodger Stadium, beginning in 1958, the year the Dodgers came to Los Angeles. A few years back, they changed the game from baseball to softball, and they started letting people sit on the field to try to catch home runs. There used to be some reasonably famous people playing and Jon Lovitz and Billy Crystal......