Ladies and gentlemen, if you need but one reason to watch the updated 90210 allow me to give one to you: No other prime time drama offers such probing insight into the world of high school lacrosse. And if that doesn't do it, how about cat fights, new and old? We pick up this week exactly where we stood last week, on the porch of the ballooned and be-ribboned Wilson home, where Annie's Sour Sixteen......

I distinctly remember the detention bad-boy turned "gourmet" chef (he made grilled cheese) tell Naomi he didn't play games in last week's episode, but she's a girl who only changes her hairstyle, not her stripes, so it's games, games, games for the kids of West Bev. And we're not talking Candyland. The games begin when Naomi sees Annie and Ethan playing seven minutes in heaven in the complete un-privacy of a bio classroom at West......

Since the CW opted not to fully pre-empt last night's 90210 we won't either, although after viewing it via DVR as recorded from local CW affiliate KTLA, it seems Angelenos were left with more "Secrets" than lies last night. In fact, "Secrets and Lies" was as holey as a hunk of Swiss cheese (but boy, what a night, huh?). Memo to CW: Go ahead and pre-empt. We know you wanted to. Things start of with......

Douchebag: "Would you like to NOT go to the dance with me?" Annie: "Sure. I'd rather learn how to drive with the help of my State Farm booklet!" | Photo: Scott Humbert/The CW Weeeeeee're baaaaaaack! After a two week hiatus the sparkly new 90210 returned to the airwaves last night with an episode centered on the time-honored American tradition known as Homecoming, which celebrates the...uh...well, you see, it pays homage to...err, well...hmmm. Okay, well,......

...in which the students of West Beverly Hills High (and their parents and teachers) have the most fun participating in an anachronistic recreational activity since "Bowling!" Things must have gotten a little kicky in the writers' room the day the creative brain trust behind last night's shiny new ep of 90210 got together and realized they were going to have to pen an entire show using only new characters. That's right, Kelly Taylor has taken......

"OMG, I'm totes dreaming, right Silver?" "No, Annie, you're wide awake..." | Photo: Michael Desmond / The CW Pinch me. No seriously, pinch me. I think I'm dreaming. First the good people of the CW give the new 90210 the nod for a full season, then they air an episode that is closer to cohesive storytelling than the previous ones. For reals? Granted, if you looked up "brilliant television" in the dictionary, last night's......

(Left) Shenae Grimes as Annie and Jessica Lowndes as Adrianna and (right) Jessica Walter as Tabitha on 90210 on The CW. Photos: Michael Desmond/The CW Instead of calling this week's 90210 "The Bubble" they should have called it "The Nap" because, frankly, it was a snoozer. Chock full of lots of talk and no action, it left me wondering if the residents of West Beverly Hills got too close to a field of our......

Eight years ago, loyal fans (because after 10 years on the air, that's all that were left) watched onetime geek David Silver marry longtime love Donna Martin on the series finale of Beverly Hills, 90210. The zip code was silenced, along with the eternal and rotating love triangles, the token bitch, the--gasp!--shocking family secrets, and the pulpy remains of what began as an edgy teen drama about fraternal twins from Minnesota trying to fit in......

If you missed 90210 the first time around, it's hard to explain. It was an instantaneous, un-self-aware camp classic. It was absolutely unwatchable while demanding that you HAD TO WATCH. Tori Spelling, before becoming the wronged daughter, the wedded-and-babied reality show chick, was simply a spoiled, freakishly untalented actress -- who was cast, in her daddy's show, as the eternal virgin (eew!). Ian Ziering, before he danced with the stars, played the cool guy --......