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September 6, 2006
Stingray Apologizes for Crocodile Hunter Irwin's Death
After days of blaming everyone but himself, Wednesday morning the stingray responsible for the tragic death of the beloved tv personality Steve Irwin finally manned-up and apologized for killing Australia's most lovable bloke.
"To be honest I thought he was just another asshole tourist trying to ride me. How was I supposed to know that he was the freaking Crocodile Hunter?" the stingray said through his publicist Jo Brooks.
"There was one guy in front of me with a camera and Irwin above me. I know I have eyes on the top of my head but all you humans look the same to us - dumb. That could have been Kobe Bryant for all I know, and trust me, if I had wacked him I wouldn't be apologizing today."
The reclusive stingray is being held on a million dollar bond awaiting manslaughter charges in an unnamed Australian prison whose whereabouts are being withheld from the press in fear of retrobution from Irwin's millions of fans.
"I know my life is over, they should just kill me now," he said before breaking down. "Besides, how's a brother supposed to get any tail without... a tail? Just finish me off and get it over with."
The stingray has never had any run-ins with the law and is being represented by Johnnie Conchshell who guarantees to get his client off the hook.
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Bad taste.
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Nice pun.
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VERY BAD TASTE> HOW ABOUT SOME RESPECT?
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Do you really think that this is funny?
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This entry isn't worth the database space it occupies.
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Tony - I'm geting raked on an Irwin related post over at the Life on the Edge. Apparently he's transcended to sainthood and is untouchable now. My sympathies go out to you.
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unbelievable.....most disrespectful
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Very distasteful. Wreckless. It's typical of these dis-jointed journalists.
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you're pathetic. i hope your parents or your kids or someone you care about dies to give you a little perspective. fuck you.
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Making fun of a person's death. That's just horrible, you're a total ass!
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Not even funny, not to mention tasteless, But, I am sure you did it for the attention. Congrats on that part.
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very bad taste - not even funny
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Not funny.
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You have got to be one of the most stupid, insensitive, jerks I've ever read copy from. Your apology from the stingray was both insensitive to the family of Iwin, but totally uncalled for. There is absolutely nothing funny about two small children losing their father.
Freakin Idiot!
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is that suppose to be funny cause i think not that ingorant the man just died and your joking about a stingray killing him not funny not cool dude.
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what a sad, pathetic life you must have. loser.
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The posted comments say it all.
No need to pile on but I am piling on anyway.
Disgraceful satire
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Wow, this is really funny! Uhh... wait, I mean stupid.
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I dont get it. How did he get hit by a car while diving underwater?
Heh.
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How much of a moron do you have to be to jot such a thing! Utterly stupid!
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GET A LIFE! THIS VERY DISRESPECTFUL!!! THIS WAS NOT FUNNY!! FIND A NEW JOB YOU ASSHOLE! CRICKEY!!! GOD I LOVED STEVE AND THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
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somehow, I think your death will be funnier
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not funny... why is this even on googlenews first page?
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He did go out on a limb to write this, and opens himself to criticism, but I think he was making more fun of the stingray than Steve Irwin. I'm sure we all respect the loss, but some of you need to lighten up a bit. I'm sure Steve would appreciate the humor of a talking stingray, and criticize the rest of you for sulking about over his death, which was how he wanted to go out....with his animals and on camera.
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This is great! Could only be funnier if it was making fun of John Ridder.
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You are a fucking idiot... Think of his kids. You have no soul.
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Steve was living his life to the fullest and died doing what he loved best. I was not surprised, since he was known for his taste for risk-taking, danger and adventure. It is only right that the stingray should apologize for taking such a well-beloved personality from the world. He taught us much.
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That freaking funny. Steve died doing what he likes... doing stupid stunts for attention (holding an infant while feeding a croc) Ooooh! such respectful guy. Tony! that's fantastic.
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How can you disrespect someone like that? The guy died a day ago! Take your nasty comments somewhere else. Have a little respect for Steve and his family.
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Asshole.
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Amen to that!
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1) It's disrespectful, and
2) It's not even funny.
Back to school with you, apparently you missed lessons in a few subjects.
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Tony: a very funny way to mark the sad passing of a good person.
Everyone else: get over yourselves.
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I hope you find your way down to Davy Jones locker and a stingray bites you in the ass. You filthy, insensitive, ignorant mother fucker!
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poor taste aside, it wasn't even funny.
i don't think anyone is saying he's a saint, but i think the guy's life and work deserve some respect. would you like it if someone poked fun at your death? how do you think your grieving family would feel about that?
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While this is in bad taste, that does not necessarily make it bad. Sometimes bad taste is funny or at least has value as satire. I'll withhold my opinion as only I really care what I think. What I find amusing is all those people who take the time to complain that you are a bad soulless person, or wrote this in bad taste or whatever. To all those who complained, I say this, if this person is going to post something in bad taste, what makes you think he'll care what you think about it? All you are doing is encouraging him to post more.
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Unimaginative, and not funny. Might be forgivable if it didn't suffer from a total lack of creativity.
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...if your going to make fun of someone dying atleast do it in a funny way, this read like a childrens book. LEARN TO BE FUNNY!!
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Tony - it is a funny post and don't take no stings from critics.
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Not quite my cup of tea, but I'll stand up for your right to experiment with it.
I'm sure that Teri and the kids and the rest of Irwin's family and friends have more important concerns than this board, and I'm sure that everyone's hearts go out to them.
I DID like the fact that you busted on the Stingray, since real men don't pay sixty thousand dollars for a plastic car with no trunk.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming....
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Too bad some writers give no mercy when it comes to their "craft." You've shown yourself to be truly obtuse and out of touch. What a shameful thing to write, a true waste of words. Idiot.
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Tragedy + Time = Comedy
Not enough time in the equation to be comedy yet. Also, it wasn't funny.
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With his sense of humor, if Steve Irwin knew about this, he would probably want it to be read at his funeral!
Can't feel sorry about the guy just like I could not feel sorry about Christopher Reeves falling off his high horse and breaking his neck.
See a patern here?
FUNNY! VERY!!! fUk U ALL senSitive Skouba diving, bungee jumpers, nascar wannabes, easy rider azzholes.
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I have no taste, tact, or sense of humor... and this somehow irked me.
look man, you could take this down, wait a week or two and repost it when people aren't still sorta ichy about laughing at a tragic case of shit-luck, and probably get a few good laughs.
and besides, there are plenty of other ways of being a jerkoff and attracting attention. you oughta try journalism ... maybe even satirical writing.
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this is the second time laist has poked fun at someone's death. i think the last time was when a man was stabbed to death in beverly hills.
this is the last time i will ever read this site. you call yourself a journalist? you are pathetic.
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Dude, you're not The Onion. Not even close.
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Man, LAist gettin' hated on.
Most of you writing in the comments would probably laugh at this if he posted it a couple months from now. Hypocrates.
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it's "hypocrites"
and quite possibly some people would laugh. i think the main point is that it's ill-timed.
and in addition, not even funny.
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Now I see why you put a job listing in MetaFilter for volunteer writers. You do realize the crocodiles are gonna get you for this. Chomp.
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Not funny, not even good satire. Just dumb. Man, you suck.
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How can you make fun of someone who was highly sucessful and had such a good life?
Just because you have a dead end job doesent mean you can degrade highly recognised and respected Celebrities.
Its cretins like you who burden society with useless pointless information and just make web pages based on either nothing, or irelevant information which portrays your idiocy and usefullness in this day and age.
Lets find Steve's families phone number and see how much balls you have reassimilating this so called "joke" to them over the phone, im sure the kids will love this bedtime story.
Your parents must be proud, im sure they will bask
in knowing their son makes fun of dead people.
Just sick and pathetic, get a job earn some money and fill in your obvious mass amount of free time.
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I bet you jack asses got upset like this when Princess Di crashed and burned. True this isn't that funny, but you all need to get lives. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me it's wrong to ass rape little boys
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All you sensitive whimps!! get a life. your laughters or tears mean nothing to his wife and kids. the guy died happy, all you crying loosers try to have a succesful life as steve did.
you expected steve to play with fire and never get burned? Ha!! then you should die a freakish way so i can laugh my ass at you to.