So Bachelor #3 and I couldn’t get it together to make plans - first he had to change the time, then I had to change the day, so we agreed to go out next week instead.

That was fine with me because Bachelor #2, the one who had that whole peeing situation at the end of our last date, has been calling me trying to make plans for this weekend. Despite his issue at the end of Tuesday night, I had a great time with him and I did want to see him again.

So when he asked if I wanted to come by his apartment, watch a movie, order food, and then go get ice cream, I thought it sounded good. I knew everything was going to stay PG, so I felt comfortable going by there.

He said he lived “just over the hill”. I got to his house twenty-five minutes after getting over Laurel Canyon and was a half-hour late. Just over the hill, my ass. When I called to say I was downstairs, he sounded surprised, “You’re here already?” Huh?

I went upstairs to his apartment and was greeted by the most hyper pug I’d ever seen. I love dogs, but this dog was mental. After about three full minutes of his dog jumping all over me I had a chance to look around his place.

Now, if you were to invite a date over, you’d clean up a little right? Not Bachelor #2. I’m certainly no neat freak, but his floor was littered with laundry, dog toys, and ninety-nine cent store bags, which I guess was where he just came from. He did say Friday night right?

We settled in on his couch and chose a romantic comedy off On Demand that neither of us had seen yet.

I kept wondering when we were going to order food, I was getting pretty hungry, but he kept going to the kitchen and bringing back snacks. First were blackberries, then Chee-to's, neither of which I wanted.

“Why don’t we just order something?” I suggested.

“Nah, I ate too much today,” was his bizarre response.

I was getting confused -- didn’t he say we were going to order-in? That’s when the light bulb went off, I get it now -- it was like in college where “come over and watch a movie” was code for “come over and have sex with me a quarter way through the movie.”

How could I have been so naïve?

But really, that couldn’t have been the case, Bachelor #2 was not making ANY moves. In fact he was acting like he didn’t even want me around. This sentiment was confirmed when I looked over and saw him SNORING peacefully on the other side of his couch halfway through the film.

What was going on here?!

What was going on here?! Despite getting wasted, I thought we had a good first date…now I think it was just the margaritas talking.

The movie wasn’t even finished when, with my stomach growling and dog hair all over my pants, I stood up to find my shoes and bag. I woke him up and told him I was leaving, “OK” was his response as he lowered his head back on his couch, crazy pug cuddled safely in his arms.

Descending to the lobby in the elevator I literally had to go through my phone and texts to make sure it WAS in fact Bachelor #2 that invited me over for dinner and a movie and ice cream and that I did in fact get the correct day. It was, and I did.

Feeling relief and confusion as I got into my car, I didn’t know what to do first, call my best friend, or hit up a drive-thru for a late-night dinner. I decided I was too hungry to explain in full detail my strange night to anyone and headed to Carl’s Jr.

Needless to say, Bachelor#2 has been eliminated. There’s more fish out there in the JDate sea. Hopefully ones with calmer dogs, cleaner apartments, and some interest in me….

Photo by Rinaldi Andrea